No love lost

My mind kept wondering
And all i could find were empty spaces
and i journeyed into my present
isn't this what i feared the most?
life without love
Not just any love
love from that one person.
And how could i not blame me,
me for just being me
always questioning, checking and checking again
What a nuisance!
Am I wrong though?
who doesn't nowadays
Only that i am loud about it
Too loud actually
And finally i ask myself
Was the love even there
Why then did i have to check

So again i went into the empty spaces
And now even emptier
No nothing...no love
Just some imagined fantasies
And we both know what that is
We cannot expect love, love from he who doesn't love himself
Too much to ask for

So i arise from my sorrows
Wash my face, just to be sure
Get out of the room
Feel the wind on my cheeks
As i start walking down the street
I start living again
No love lost

Anabahati Mlay