Tuesday 13 February 2018

The Vicious Cycle of Prostitution

You know what they say about experience being the best teacher, it really is.So last week I met this well travelled, well read, adventurous, and experienced man who is also a great trader and mentor. It was just by luck that I had a chance to drink a little from his well of knowledge and wisdom. Initially, we met to speak about my initiative to inspire and encourage more young ladies to read a lot more so as to grow their knowledge and skills. The conversation just got more deeper and we found ourselves discussing about one of the things that has enslaved so many girls and that's prostitution. There was soo much information shared but what caught my attention and really still haunts me is the way this vicious cycle isn't about to come to an end anytime soon. He actually told me of how this is one of the oldest professions in the world and we had our long argument there, that's a story for another day. He narrated to me how one of his friends who was working for an NGO worked with a group of ladies at one of the borders involved in prostitution. The sad encounters and stories i was told made me dig deeper.

 This is what was happening and still does happen, Halima(not a real life character) who is a young girl drops out of school because of poverty, leaves the village to go to this little township at the border to find a job  and earn some money to help her family get by and maybe send her siblings to school.She really wants to earn some money and the only way the whole family knows she can is to work at the township whichis one of the bussiest transit point for trucks carrying loads across boarders and also one of the places most truck drivers spend the night. One or both her parents have heard some of the upleasant stories about what 'jobs' girls from the village end up  dong i in this township,  still they have hopes that their little girl will be smarter than the others as they have raised her better, she will go into food business or hawking. Halima then  gets to this little township, with a little money trying to get a job or start a little business. Before she knows it the money finishes and the easiest way she can land  a place to stay is share a room with this group of ladies who works at night. They now convince her that the easiest way she can earn a living and chip in the rent and other expenses is join them in what they do as most of them will spend soo much time explaining how this is the only way she can survive. This young girl is naive and scared but then she thinks of her poverty stricken family in the village and how she wants to send her young sisters and brothers to school.  She vows to do this only this once and use the money to start a food business. However, Halima finds out that the money is not enough to sustain her and start a business or even send home so  she thinks of getting  a couple of more clients, earn enough money and stop there. But then this trade she has gotten herself into needs more capital than she thought. To make herself more appealing she uses the money she got from her first customers to buy herself lipstick, some clothes and shoes as they all commented on how shabby and "mshamba" she looked some even told Halima they would have paid her  more if she had upgraded herself a bit. Acting on the insecurities planted into her with those men she thinks well, maybe with a little wig and perfume she will make more money.  And just like that months goes by  and halima has neither  sent money home nor has she  helped her siblings to start school. Then she meets the lady working for an NGO who tells her of the dangers of her job and advice her to go for HIV testing. This lady even gives her free condoms begging her to use them if she must continue with this business.  But then there is a problem, the other girls have found a way to  gain an extra 5-10 thousand shillings which is  to offer sex without protection which most of these men prefer to and pay more than to the girls who now insists on using protection and she thinks why not earn an extra shilling.

Now this is the worst part, Halima  contracts HIV and later gets sick from AIDs. She goes home where her now aging parents took care of her the best way they know and can and she later died. All her life dreams ended there with nothing to write home about. After all that, her sisters did not go to school and her family is still poverty stricken and maybe another young sister will have to go to the little township to find a job as well and help her family and maybe it will just be the same thing over and over again. Some  of the ladies she worked with died at the township  or went home to be taken care with their families and died as well within a short period of time as most of their families don't have an access to the necessary medical information and services to take care of them.

It is a vicious cycle and it won't come to an end anytime soon.  He  actually told me he thinks it's  not even material poverty which really causes this and I joined in as we said together, It is poverty of the mind.  Illiteracy is the worst enemy of an African girl child  be it in the rural or urban areas. It sucks her in and take everything she could ever come to achieve. It's the  strong glue that holds this vicious circle together. I sat there, with my now cold  half-filled  cup of tea. I stared in the space for a while thoughts of whether to order another cup of tea or not crossed my mind too, when i realised  i was actually sweating not necessarily from this city weather and i gave up the thought.

Now,  today as i was getting my presentation ready for some girls i have to address at one of the orphanages  on self-love, self-worth, self-esteem and self-discipline when i go to drop a few books my older friend has given for them i could not keep my mind  of Halima. I think it will haunt me for even longer now that i have made a research and know there are so many Halimas  in this city, in other cities and rural areas, in Africa and all over the world, some do not move to a township, some do not even meet truck drivers but all of them are deeply enclosed in this vicious cycle. I hope someone finds one Halima before it is too late, i hope someone reaches to Halima and speak hope and freedom into her  mind and changes her mindset and life before this cycle swallows her up. I hope someone shows and teaches Halima that there is better to life than this cycle. I hope life becomes better around Halima.